Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison
DAVID'S MOM: I read this book a few years and many books into David's diagnosis. It really filled in the gaps and increased my understanding of some of his mannerisms. It came at a time when I knew we had finally figured out the right now but the "what about someday when he grows up?" questions lingered in my mind.
Because it is an autobiography and captivating to read aside from the Asperger's, it was easy to pass around for family and friends to read. The more people in David's life that understood pieces of him, the better. It increased our vocabulary to discuss things that previously felt hard to define. Here is a person who knows what it feels like to have Aspergers and can tell us. He has had the life experience and time to give words to actions and feelings that our own children probably can not currently articulate.
Through simply explaining how he felt when someone asked him to look them in the eye and why it was hard to do, Mr. Robison really puts into perspective what we impose on our children as "normal" behavior. It reminded me of all the times we worried over David not sitting in circle time in 3 year old preschool as if that were an indicator of future well being.
I was encouraged at how Mr. Robison could see his continued changes throughout the decades of his life. It comforted me that we do no have to figure out everything right now.
I do recommend reading this prior to handing it to your teenager. Also, the paper back has cleaner language than the hardback. You can e-mail us if you need more specific information than that. But since this is a biography, I don't want to spoil any of the story. And it is a fascinating story.
CHRISTIE'S MOM: After Christie was diagnosed, I began to read everything I could get my hands on to help me understand her better and deal with the stuff that was going on.
This is probably the sixth or seventh book I read, and it was the first one to make me laugh. I must thank Mr. Robison for that.
I almost always enjoy reading autobiographies, and this one was no exception. Every person out there has a unique story to tell. And I believe everyone has a story that could make you cry. I wonder if we looked at people with that in mind we would see each other differently...
Anyways, back to the topic. This is an honest, interesting, laugh-out-loud funny, well written book. It gave me insight into the line of thinking (and sometimes, the humor) behind some of the behaviors I once considered, well, disturbing. I only wish I could take back all of the times I said to my child, "What's wrong with you?" No parenting of the year awards for me.
Just as every person is unique, so too are people on the autism spectrum. There are some common threads, yes. But no two aspergers kids are going to behave or think exactly alike. As parents we struggle to compare our kids to something or someone else to assure us that they're normal, that they 'fit in'. Believe me, I was at the point of desperation on this. But what is normal, really? And with whom exactly are we trying to fit them in? Just food for thought.
I am glad Mr. Robison decided to share his story. It is a bad, scary feeling to think that we are alone in what we're dealing with in our homes, with our kids, in our hearts. We all have stories to tell. We should gather up our courage and tell them more often.
It's important to read everything you can. Learn as much as possible, and reach out for the help you need. Just don't forget to laugh.
...And tell people about our blog! :)
From Cat(Do I have to put this? I have never blogged before.)
Hi Christie and David
I really enjoyed reading your blog. Things you think and feel are not so different than everyone else, believe it or not. I guess, maybe, other people just don't feel things as intensely. When does passion become obsession???
David, I liked the comics your mom drew to help you know what was going to happen when your routine changed. I never drew comics, but I did write out an itinerary for my sons of what was going to happen during the holidays or when we went on a vacation. They are now in college and I still do it. It is not as detailed anymore and I mainly do it so they will know what to pack.
Christie, I too, had difficulty looking people in the eye and talking with them. It made me very uncomfortable. It still does at times. I can tell I am stammering and they are looking at me like they are trying to figure out what in the heck I am talking about. This is what I found out when I was studying psychology in school. Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask questions, that cannot be answered with yes or no you rarely have to say anything. The person you are talking to will go on and on about themselves. The problem is is that sometimes it is not very interesting then you have to pretend it is and figure out how to get away from them. My son does not like to chit chat. He usually just spouts off facts. He always felt uncomfortable talking with other people and this helped him.
I make jewelry and this weekend I did a show. I was going to send a picture, but I don't know how to do it on a blog. I met a couple of people that I am going to send a link to your blog. One has a son with Aspergers, I think, and the other is a teacher of students with autism. I think your blog will help many people. Plus, I love to see the pictures you both have drawn/taken and I like your sense of humor.
Posted by: Cathleen Watts | 05/05/2013 at 06:48 AM