Aspergers kids need their private space

At least I do. This is me in my room.

First, the thing about sharing. Sharing is good but over rated with kids. When you are a kid and you go and find the perfect toy, you create a story line with the toy and then you are finally enjoying the toy. Then your parent says you have to "share" the toy with another kid who didn't do anything except point and say they want it. This isn't sharing. This is giving it away. Temporarily feels like for forever when you are a kid.

Sharing means you both take part in the toy. Or food. Or whatever. Lets face it, an action figure is made for one kid at a time. Sometimes "sharing" is really loaning with stress.

But back to private space.

My room is my private space. My brothers come in my room.  But only when I am there. My special things are in my room. I do not have to share them. I will, sometimes. But mostly, they are safe from other kids busting in and messing them up.

For Aspergers kids, it is important to have a safe, predictable place to go and recover from all the noise and people. I like having my drawing things in my room. I like having my legos all organized in my room. I'm not trying to be selfish. I just really really need people not to touch my stuff.

Really.

At our house, everybody gets to have their "treasures." Things that are special to them that they do not have to share. It isn't a lot of stuff. Just the important things. My brother has a stuffed toy that my Grandmother made him. He likes it a lot. That is his special thing. He doesn't have to share it. He also likes his bicycle. He does have to share it. One is something very special to him. One is just something he just likes.

I guess if you don't have Asperger's Syndrome, this may sound selfish. If you do have it, you probably think this sounds great. But trust me. It is a big deal.

Comments

[Deb Alvarado]

Thanks for sharing. My son is 10, he doesn't really understand that e has Asperger's , we haven't really explained it to him yet, and really I'm not sure how. I love your blog because it is teaching me a lot. Keep up the awesome work!

[Candace stewart]

I like how your room has designated work areas. It makes perfect sense. And I like your organization. You keep things together the way they make sense to you. I do the same thing in my sewing room- well most of the time! I admit that the last time I was there, I snuck in your room when you were downstairs. I did not touch anything, but I like looking at how you do things. I like being able to picture you in there and to think about all the creative things that are happening! It gives me great comfort to think about you in your safe space and what a great area it is.
XXXOOO